Checking in

Thank you everyone for your support lately. If you've known me for awhile you probably know I don't usually just let things out like that and it apparently startled a few people. I really appreciate the kind comments, stories shared, and understanding shown. It's touching and reminds me I'm not alone.

There isn't one certain thing that is getting me down. I just find I'm so overwhelmed I can't think straight. While my arterial surgery 5 weeks ago definitely improved my arm function (what a shock after only having 31% use), I am struggling greatly with the ever-increasing pain throughout my spinal cord. While not 24/7, my head is terrible and my hearing is really off this week again. Yada yada yada I'll shut up.

I'm taking way more meds than I should, but am so desperate for any degree of relief I don't care about potential consequences. I'm going on the theory that if anything happens, God will understand my heart's desire and true intention. Am I getting that out right? I don't know.

I suspect work is going to call me bright and early to give notification on whether or not my position will continue, so I ought to get to bed. Not sure why, don't sleep worth a darn even with all the meds, but curling up under the covers sounds mighty nice.