Still here

First off: Linda/The Road I Travel--could you please email me? I would very much like to know how you are and I can't any longer (read your updates). Thanks!

Thanks everyone for the thoughts, prayers, and thought-provoking points left as comments to my last post.

Obviously I am still here. I admit, I am struggling. If it was any ONE problem I was dealing with, it would one thing. Dealing with...dozens...is another entirely. My life being taken over by so many seizures a day is ridiculous, with the unbelievable pain it is causing.

My pain scale norm, pre-seizure disorder, was around 7 on good days and 9 on bad. Now, I'm 9 on good days. I'll leave it at that.

It took me 2 hours to stand yesterday to get myself to the restroom. When I finally made it there and sat, I screamed out in pain.

If you know me, you know very well I pride myself on keeping pain to myself. And I actually shouted...me, who had an emergency c-section with no drugs and never made a sound. Not a cry, a shout, a whimper, nothing.

Fortunately I got my scooter back in the afternoon so I can ride down the hall next time.

The pain is just overwhelming still, and it doesn't help knowing that this rare combo has no future, so what is the point in holding on?

I don't know. I don't have any answers. I just wanted to let the kind folks who wrote know that I'm still here and hanging on. It's by a thread at the moment but I'm doing the best I can.