Dear insurance company

The following post content is courtesy of my friend, Scott, who knows all too well the realities of insurance corporations. He left the comment at my recent blog post where I mentioned the two-year battle it took for my then I/C to pay for my two bouts of CPR and the two teams that performed it, along with the ventilator I had to get hooked up to during the second code. They denied it adamantly that entire time because I didn't pre-authorize either time I died, either Code Blue's CPR, nor the ventilator. He has given permission for me to paste it here as a post of its own.

Yes, I'd like to schedule my clinical death, and I'd appreciate you paying for the medicine to revive me. When is a good time for you? Oh, you'll need 7-10 business days to pre-approve that? Great! I'll pencil in sometime in early August! Now I hope I've avoided anything silly, like pre-existing conditon, and that when I come back to life all broken and in pain, that you help me out by paying the bills. Remember, I always do pay the bills you send me every month, and I haven't complained even though those bills have been getting bigger and bigger over the years. I love you, Mega Insurance Company! You always treat me with fairness and honesty and always have my best interest in mind when your "medical review board" chooses not to pay for the medicine I need!

Burn in hell,
Your Happy Patient and Customer