Saturday, June 28, 2008

Forget it

I'm not doing the testing. I'm calling first chance I had to let them know since I received the testing letter Friday night after hours, to please let me out of the $50 charge for lack of 48 hours' advance notice of cancellation.

It's not just about going without pain meds. It's not just about the pain. For those of you who have been reading for awhile, you remember after I fought my way back off the ventilator and spent all those weeks in the hospital relearning to walk and talk when I was 28. You remember the long nights alone in a room day after day filled with 6 1/2 hours of intensive remember the nurses hearing me cry as they walked by, coming in, pulling up chairs and sitting down; telling me while I call patients like myself who refuse meds "stubborn" they prefer to call them "dead" because of patients they have that try to refuse meds, playing the tough guy. Their pain levels spike, blood pressure goes through the roof, etc., and they end stroking out and/or dying.

I will not go the 48 hours without. I take my narcotics and other painkillers and anti-seizures etc every 4 hours. I'm not risking anything. I'll just have to not have the test.


  1. I know there isn't much I can say, but I am thinking of you always. Hugs and lots of love doll.

  2. I know you are doing the wisest thing for yourself, pain kills, not to mention withdrawal itself is life-threatening. Are they out of their minds, telling you just to stop taking them for the test.

    (losingmymind2 from Crochetville)

  3. Only you know what is best for YOU.
    I support you in your decision. You and your family are always in my prayers.

  4. keesh im very proud of you, those people are NUTS you and i both know you can not do that. i would tell them to go get over it they are not the ones who are suffering you are screw them as my sister kathy says you are doing he wisest thing for yourself. hugs and love