Sunday, October 25, 2009


It's amazing what parenthood can enable us to do.

When our children are getting MRI's, blood draws, urodynamics, sutures, and look to us for reassurance, we give it to them, though our heart is breaking.

When we go to fix a lunch of the only remaining item in the house, a carton of eggs, only to realize there are only two in it. Assuring the kids you are full, you distract them by getting them excited, offering a "cooking & movie time," letting them cook their own egg with a little encouragement. With their newly discovered cooking skills, followed by eating their dish in front of a movie of their choice, they don't notice Mommy or Papa doesn't have anything in front of them. Mission accomplished.

How long can a couple make it seem fun, rather like a camp out of sorts, the constant creative cooking, the hiding of the frustration when you know they should have so much more, so much better, than the contents of the pantry: cereal (but no milk), peanut butter (but no bread or crackers, rendering it useless unless you want to eat it by spoon), macaroni & cheese but no milk (again, useless).

Three weeks of buttered noodles for every lunch & dinner gets really old, regardless of how many different seasons you experiment with to fool your children. Cut it into little bites, medium bites, leave it huge to have fun, let them cook it, anything for the sake of variety. Go ahead, have a slurping contest. Live it up.

Someday, we will never have spoons of peanut butter, buttered noodles, or handfuls of dried cereal again. At least not because we HAVE to. There will come a day when certain persons have to answer to a higher power for what the position they have put our family in these last 13 months, blatantly going against what every specialist has documented repeatedly, clearly trying to ruin everything we have ever worked so hard for. When all is said and done, there is nothing but the truth. We know it, the specialists know it, and God knows it.

The thing is, those certain persons know the truth as well, but are so lost they they are dead set on destroying a family with whom they are supposed to be partners.

And for that, they will have to answer to God for what they have done. Thinking about that moment is all that gives me the courage to keep up this game with my children, because they do not deserve this any more than we do.

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