Sick of hospitals

Thursday I came home after 6 days in the hospital. My seizures were occurring 3-4 an hour and becoming increasingly violent. After DH being sure I was not breathing, he took me to the hospital. Seizures in the ER confirmed he was right; with each one, the monitor alarms went off. My 02 sats dropped to the 70's and instead of my heart rate skyrocketing, it plummeted. And long story short, I was admitted for 6 days.

I came home on another AED (seizure med). DH thinks they're helping a bit. I'm still seizing but not nearly as often.

I have a clinical trial check-up Tuesday morning and pain man appointment Friday afternoon. My mom is here from out of state so thankfully she can drive. I am anxious to tell Pain Man how his staff refused to give him messages about my situation not once but three times.

My pain control is not doing much at all. I dread getting up, sitting down, getting in and out of bed, whatever.

I don't know what to do any more. I am exhausted, and tired of relentless intractable
pain.

Here's a pic of me a few days ago in-patient, waiting for yet more imaging.