God in control

Yesterday was a bit of a long day. I went to bed at 6 a.m. and got up at 7:30. Church started at 9:30 of course. I must admit I have no idea when it ended as I don't have any memory of it at all. Actually I remember just before it started, talking with O. about her new grandbaby. Meds finally started to kick in though and for some time after that there remains a series of flashing silent images in my mind. I know M. said hello afterward, which I always think is so thoughtful and makes me feel special to be remembered, and I can tell she really cares when she asks.

With a 6 and 5 year old both in desperate need of socks, and some nylon sewing thread, we went to Target. I was using the cart to lean on, same as always, and while turning a bit, the 3 rings on my wedding finger came flying off and scattered down the aisle. I was floored and stood there a moment just shocked, Sterling went after one of them, and with the other two being soldered (thank goodness) my 5 year old spotted them pretty quickly. They have never done this before, ever. It threw me for a loop, that quiet little reminder that I can't get my weight under control. I never would have seen that coming though.

We finished up getting everything needed and headed home. Head from Hell was on the rebound, with me unsuccessfully fighting sleep on the journey back. I crashed pretty quickly after getting through the doors.

After getting up, we went to talk to our pastor. We haven't gone together like this in years but life has brought so many challenges. I can try to face this with God or without, but at the same time it is hard for me to lean on the one I married at the same time as trying to protect him from my life, when God never said I had to do that in the first place.