Chiari Malformation

13 surgeries and you'd think I could handle anything by now. But here I am at 3:08 am writing this. I couldn't stand writhing in bed in pain any longer. The last 5 1/2 hours of it was enough. It was getting a little ridiculous doing that since the moment I climbed into bed. I'm exhausted, eyelids heavy, but this pain radiating all over my torso and spine is unbelievable.

I don't know what's happening and I'll say it.

I'm afraid.