Under the Knife Again

I'm having surgery again next week, my 16th. At least this time it does not involve shaving my head. It does however involve a lot of risk, a big incision, general anesthetic, and around a week in the hospital.

I'm also having my first mammogram and an ultrasound because of what we hope is just a small thing. I'm nervous but not much I can do about it. So, first things first, one day at a time.

Baltimore, here we come!

It's been a big day around here. I gave the info below to friends this morning and if they see this hopefully no one minds I'm putting it here. There are so many details I can't even think about trying to write it all down again!

The Baltimore surgeon is supposed to be the best in the country for the thoracic issue, the one I mentioned previously that lives in Baltimore but makes AZ trips every 6 weeks or so as they have an office here. I found out last week though that he no longer makes the trips here so they asked me to come there. I said that's fine, there's isn't a "network" with Medicare. Then they dropped the bomb on me and said they don't take Medicare, period. So his nurse wrote him an email about me and the EDS situation, asking if he thought if any of the other surgeons that still make the AZ trip could help me. That was Thursday or Friday.

They called this morning and the surgeon said forget AZ. He wants involved in my case directly and said to bring me out. They'll take care of the Medicare issue through their institute.

I shook about all day because he said get me out there--as in, next week. On the 29th. Of October. In Baltimore.

If I could I would have been bouncing all over the walls. The nurse said the surgeon is going to call me himself within a few days and discuss the trip and the surgery. He wants me to be prepared for what it will be like since it looks like I'll be out there for a week.

Did I mention if after the exam if he decides he can get this done safely, he'll do the surgery that week?

Ok, I admit it. I'm scared and freaking out and wish I could be DOING something productive. Booking the flight (they said wait for Dr and the nurse's next call so they can work on the testing schedule so I know when to be there and when it will be ok to come back, right now only have regular appt scheduled, not the tests), what to do with the kids, the dog, SOMETHING.

13 surgeries and you'd think I could handle anything by now. But here I am at 3:08 am writing this. I couldn't stand writhing in bed in pain any longer. The last 5 1/2 hours of it was enough. It was getting a little ridiculous doing that since the moment I climbed into bed. I'm exhausted, eyelids heavy, but this pain radiating all over my torso and spine is unbelievable.

I don't know what's happening and I'll say it.

I'm afraid.